May 9th 2008 was the day my life changed forever. This was the day I became a mother, and no words could describe the emotions flowing through my heart and the thoughts racing through my head. Marissa Anne had entered the world with a few pushes and tears that filled the room. But then came the whispers as they rushed her to the other side of the room. I could not hear what they were saying but I could feel the concern in the room. They finally let me hold her, and then rushed her away to the NICU. It was four hours later that I would be able to look at my daughter again. She was having breathing problems and her blood work showed problems. But all I could think about was that my daughter was here and I could finally be the mother I had always dreamed of.
A few hours passed, and a pediatrician finally came to our room with news that would turn our world upside down. He uttered the words “we believe she has Down syndrome.” What does this mean? Will she be ok? How will our life be? These questions came rushing in. But surprisingly, I remained strong for my daughter. I knew that no matter what she was my special angel and nothing would change my love for her. So we read the pamphlets they gave us, watched the videos, and began to conduct research of our own. One of my favorite books that they gave us was Gifts, about mothers and their feelings about their children with Down syndrome.
Looking back at that day the first thing I remember was my grandfather saying “finally we have an angel in our family.” I never knew how special those few words would be. But I knew from that day on that I would do everything I could to make sure that Marissa had a full life and that I would never hold her back. The diagnosis is only a part of her and the rest is love, compassion, innocence, understanding, laughter, smiles, and even a funny dance. When someone meets a child with Down syndrome or any other special needs people tend to focus on the physical aspects or movements. But one should actually focus on the laughter, the memories, and the love in their eyes.
This is where our life began with physical therapy, speech therapy, blood tests, eye exams, cardiologists, early intervention, and geneticists. Yet through all this we are blessed that Marissa has yet to have any medical problems and she is racing through her milestones proving to others that SHE CAN DO IT and that she is worth it. Through this experience we have joined the Down Syndrome Association of Jacksonville and the Down Syndrome Association of Hampton Roads. From these organizations we have learned that we are not alone, made lifetime friends, learned about others lives, and learned to become advocates for everyone with special needs. It is amazing how one group can make such a difference and it was amazing to watch the community get involved in making a difference and enriching lives.
Now, Marissa is turning three and blessing the lives of everyone she meets. So many people walk up to me saying how adorable she is or laughing at her funny dances when she hears music. She is running everywhere, using sign language, increasing her vocal vocabulary to over 25 words, and was a natural great big sister from the start. She has also grown into the most polite little girl telling everyone “thank you” when she knows she should. Life with Marissa is nothing but the ordinary fun life that everyone wants to have and everyone deserves.
What does the future hold for Marissa? Will she mainstream in High School? Will she have a boyfriend, get married, or even have children? None of these questions matter to me anymore. All I care about is that she is happy and full of life just like any other child. One of the greatest things I was every told was from my mother, “just remember that we are lucky to have a child to teach, play with, and put to bed.” Some people do not even get the chance to meet their children. So I will take my almond-shaped eyed cutie any day; and I will help her succeed and make an everlasting impression on every life she touches.
Natalie Crater
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